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James Garcia
James Garcia

Crack PORTABLEed Meet N Fuck Games


cheating was just that -- cheat -- and not an inhuman mastery of counterattacks and infinite combos like in todays games. the way i beat enemies was with a straight game of keepaway until the programmers gave up and added a special attack that let me kill somebody after a few seconds. this was before auto-attacking became a thing, and even powerups weren't in yet. 




Cracked Meet N Fuck Games



the game was perfect in every way. there was no input lag. there was no frame rate dip. it never got clogged up with people playing on the same connection and waiting on other people to get around to finishing before they did. it was just you, and the screen. there was no cheating. there were no clones. there were no quick-time events. there were just you and the screen. 


it's got a really annoying animation cycle where you see jackie chan pop out of the screen and then start moving, and then jump back in and be a screaming head. it's totally distracting and not in any way what you'd expect from an rpg. additionally, you can't pause the game at any point by accidently clicking something, and this would be a good way to kill yourself if you do.


there's also a lot of jokes that fall flat, like a punchline that starts with "i'm gonna kick this bitch in the face." once that comes up for the first time, you can't walk through the rest of the joke, because it's going to set you up for a punchline that you're not ready for. i think that's unfair to the players, but it's too late to change anything and get a game that actually works.


whatever, the game was still fun to play. and you still can't pause the game to walk around like it's an actual rpg. it's one of those stupid kids' games with you mashing buttons while running around like you're a kid playing a kids' game.


https://www.realmadridfanclub.com/group/real-madrid-kids-fan-club/discussion/16f80cd6-3009-4e1f-9414-37666487390e

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